The title of the post is taken from a hand-drawn poster that I saw hanging up in Splone O’Phúláin’s house in Dublin many years ago.
As I have been telling anyone and everyone, I quit smoking about three weeks ago. The reason I’m telling people is because unlike on the various other occasions when I thought I would stop smoking, I know it is a permanent decision this time. The secondary reason for telling people is so that if I ever should smoke another cigarette (in circumstances that are currently inconceivable to me) there will be more people to have a go at me about it.
The main reason I know this attempt to give up smoking will succeed and therefore consider it worthy of mention is that I read The Easy Way To Stop Smoking by (the late) Allen Carr. In this book, Carr systematically points out the logical flaws in all of the common justifications for smoking cigarettes and talks up the benefits of a life without smoking.
It’s not especially well-written, nor does it contain any great insight that the average smoker couldn’t come up with themselves over a few years of smoking. Neither of these detract from its effectiveness though. The value of the book, in my opinion, is that it outlines a clear path to giving up, it explains convincingly why it works and why other ways you may have tried previously do not. Although it may have occurred to you before, seeing it in print and knowing that it has worked for millions of people inspire the confidence to try it. You don’t want to be the loser it didn’t work on.
The main message of the book could be summed up in one sentence: if you feel like you’re actually missing out on something, you will never succeed in giving up smoking. This is why what he calls the “willpower method” (i.e. simple self-denial, the way most people try to give up smoking) is doomed to failure.
People attempting to stop smoking in this manner wake up each morning and think “Oh, I’d love a cigarette now but I can’t have one. That’d be bad. No no no. No cigarettes for me”. This thought continues to nag at them throughout the day, every day. Sooner or later, they go to the pub with all their friends who are smoking, and they crack. At least, this is a typical way that I would crack. There are many others.
I can honestly say that even as I write this the thought of actually smoking is not on mind. It will continue to pop into my head occasionally for some time to come as I go places and do things where I might have smoked in the past. However it is a simple mental association. When I see other people smoking, I don’t feel any sense of longing. I am as surprised about all of this as anyone.
I never smoked enough in the first place to experience some of the alleged benefits such as an improvement in my ability to taste food or having lots of extra energy, but the simple satisfaction of no longer being addicted to something I never wanted to be addicted to is more than enough reward.
One of the great truisms we’ve all heard about giving up smoking is that “to give up smoking, you have to really want to give up“. There’s actually a bit more to it than that. You have to make the logical leap from “I know it might give me cancer but I really enjoy it” to “Hang on, I don’t even enjoy it“. There are obviously other ways of arriving at this conclusion besides reading Carr’s book- anyone who has successfully given up without the use of patches, chewing gum etc. (which Carr is very down on) has managed to do so.
I also now understand why there’s nothing worse than a reformed smoker. In order to give it up, you have to convince yourself it’s a total waste of time. You have to reacquire the disgust you felt towards smoking before you ever started. The more effectively you do this, the less well able you are to empathise with the smoker’s mindset. I will not be preaching to anyone about lifestyle choices but I will be recommending the book in the same way I would recommend any other book.
Where my assessment of smoking diverges from Allen Carr’s is that, firstly, I’m really not sure I would say “I wish I’d never started”, which he claims every smoker would. I’d make the analogy that I like living in England, but I don’t wish I was born here so that I could have lived my entire life in England.
Secondly and consequently, I don’t agree with his claim that there is no positive side to smoking. To me, there undoubtedly is. However If I were writing an intended best-selling self-help book about giving up smoking, I might choose to deny the positive too. (There is a chapter titled “The advantages of being a smoker”, followed by a couple of totally blank pages - ha ha)
What I don’t dispute is that the positive effects, both the physical sensation of the elusive “good cigarette” and the social aspects, are massively outweighed by the addictiveness and toxicity of the substance itself.
Anyway, I told my friend Fil about it and he is now reading the book. He said he doesn’t want to give up smoking (which is why I’m surprised and impressed that he’s reading it at all) so it will be interesting to see if the book manages to persuade him that he actually does want to give it up. I can see why people give up after reading it who had no intention of doing so. It does sort of ruin it for you.
I also mentioned it on the phone to Dave, who lives in Spain and smokes like a trooper. He actually has a copy of the book already but hasn’t got around to reading it (a phenomenon specifically dealt with in the book - it is very common) but now claims that he will.
Fil, you should be aware that Dave says that if you can give up, then so can he. I personally think Dave is saying this because he is still afraid to give up and doesn’t believe (and may not even hope) that you choose to give up.
So please give it a go Fil and if you don’t, at least pretend to Dave that you have so that he’s got no excuse. He would benefit from giving up a lot more than you. Or should I say, even more.
The only unfortunate thing about it all is that I will now be one of those annoying cunts who asks “has it got tobacco in it?” when passed a joint. Declining joints will be a new and difficult experience for me but I will do it. On the contract I have signed with myself (good to put these things in writing I find) I have said I will review the joint policy after six months.
Unfortunately with my improved understanding of how it all works, I don’t really see any way I can continue to smoke tobacco in joints. It’s just not a good idea. I know some people do exactly this but notice that those people tend to smoke a lot of joints. I don’t believe anyone is immune to the addictive properties of nicotine, no matter what context they believe they’re smoking it in.
So: don’t congratulate me yet but have no doubt that you will be congratulating me at some point that constitutes more of an achievement than three weeks.
Finally I would like to address an issue that I discussed with the fox family [1] while in Ireland. The issue was that of all the possible problems I could foresee with giving up smoking, the one I regarded as the most insurmountable was what happens when you’re out in these days of the smoking ban and a fit girl asks you if you want to go for a cigarette. It does happen from time to time, even to me.
To understand the nature of the dilemma, you need to remember that smoking is cool [2] and that in order to impress a fit girl, you will obviously want to convey that you yourself are cool. You will also want to convey that you have something in common, and what better a thing for two people to have in common than being cool? All of this from the simple act of smoking a cigarette.
The solution is of course that if the fit girl asked if I wanted to go outside for a cigarette, I would go outside and keep her company while she smokes but not smoke myself. I may choose to reveal that I used to smoke cigarettes, after all it is better to have been cool once but then ceased to be, than to never have been cool at all.
But thinking about it some more: cigarettes are addictive and conquering an addiction is difficult and people who do difficult things are cool. Climbing mountains, learning musical instruments, etc. Perhaps I could still convince her I was cool. It depends how intelligent she is. Maybe I’d start talking to her about German minimal techno or something.
[1] My new collective term for the inseparable unit that is Crystalfox and Jane (Sorry Jane)
[2] As an example of Carr’s denial of the positive aspects of smoking, you will not find a single instance of the word “cool” in any of the book’s 111 pages. This cannot be an accidental oversight.
