Feliz Aniversario
This will only be of real interest to Crystalfox, although I think it’s funny enough to be of at least mild interest to anyone bothered to read it. I have cautiously tagged it booooring nonetheless.
Around this time ten years ago fate brought myself, Crystalfox and six other less intelligent and interesting people together in a house in the University of Limerick’s charming pastel-coloured student accommodation, Kilmurry Village.
When Crystalfox first met me, he thought I was English. When I first met him, I thought he was a cunt. Although I did end up living in England and he did end up being acting like a cunt on a fair few occasions, we were nonetheless both proven wrong.
In our house in Kilmurry Village and in other houses for the subsequent years of university, we embarked on all manner of nerdy, drug and alcohol-fuelled adventures. For two people who didn’t actually do a lot of university-related work, we spent a great deal of time in the library and labs, downloading music, reading about cricket and generally having the craic.
Neither of us had many friends in our own courses and we were not very fond of lecture attendance. At times I attended more of Crystalfox’s lectures (to keep him company, and because they were more interesting) than I did of my own.
My social skills were such that I couldn’t have had it any other way and nowadays I realise I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It wasn’t my imagination, all those other people in my course really were a bunch of fucking phooooools.
To celebrate our anniversary here is a selection of correspondence unearthed from an old hard disk that I took a copy of before going on holibobs, wrongly figuring I’d have time to sort through it all here. Some of the mails quoted date from 1999 and 2000 but the majority are from second, third and fourth year.
Aside from the parts I have posted which are those I consider to have the most general appeal, there were a few funny surprises in the correspondence. For instance, how extensively we used to discuss cocaine despite neither of us having the money to actually buy much of it, and Crystalfox’s almost sexual love of that lab upstairs in the Schumann building, which he sings the repeatedly sings the praises of for no apparent reason.
I haven’t sought his permission to post this but I would point out that the only person reading this that has actually met Crystalfox is Crystalfox’s girlfriend [*], and Crystalfox isn’t the kind of guy to go keeping things secret from his girlfriend. When I started this he insisted on anonymity and the price he pays for anonymity is me getting to post whatever I like about him.
[*] Apart from a certain highly successful corporate lawyer, who has met Crystalfox on more than one occasion but unfortunately doesn’t remember. Unfortunate because one of the occasions was so hilarious we still talk about it from time to time.
Random thoughts:
I’m pretty sure I thought you were Norn Ironish, not English. I blame that on lack of exposure to the midlands accent, living down South.
The change that may have happened to me between first and second year was nothing to do with me ceasing to be a cunt but more me grudgingly accepting that if you want to get ahead in this world, you have to fit in with people’s definition of “normal”. I still dream of a world where I can jump head first into hedges without being judged.
I believe the Bat didn’t fail any exams in the whole of college but I could be wrong.
In case you weren’t aware, there was no “John the Monk”, which made that story even funnier.
Those minesweeper times don’t look that fast after years of playing it. I’d say I have beaten them myself (maybe not the 5 seconds beginner one). I’m positive that by now Leo has gone much much faster.
I don’t think Leo ever did publish that paper.
“which of those two is this, or is it both? or is it neither?
are we still on for number 1?
dan’s really looking forward to it.” – means absolutely nothing to me.
Don’t know what I had been smoking when I wrote that email about pi.
I remember when I first listened to Foreigner after you downloaded it that time and I didn’t recognise it.
Do you have to post stuff that makes us look like complete pussies? 4 or 5 mushrooms? I can only hope readers assume you meant those huge massive Mexican mushrooms.
What went wrong with the WWTBAM plan was that the pubs etc. saw us coming and removed the machines. If that hadn’t happened I’d be sitting on a beach in the Bahamas right now.
OB+ Negative, I must have been joking, surely.
Good times, good times.
No, I think you thought I was English before you ever spoke to me at all (or heard me speaking, rather). You thought I had an English look about me. If this sounds implausible to you now, remember, this is first year CF we’re talking about. A completely different sort of phool.
Maybe there was another period during which you thought I was Norn Ironish. Or maybe you’re getting me confused with that couple we say on the ferry to France.
You jumping into a hedge was an example of you being a phool, not of you being a cunt. If you were trying to be “normal” from second year onwards, frankly you could have tried a bit harder.
I didn’t know there was no John the Monk and you’re right, it does make that story even funnier.
“which of those two is this, or is it both? or is it neither?
are we still on for number 1?
dan’s really looking forward to it.”
I should have said, I don’t know what the first two sentences relate to either. They’ve got nothing to do with the part about Dani but I didn’t want to edit them out because I didn’t edit any of the rest of the mails, apart from names. Read it without the first two sentences and it will make sense.
I was indeeed talking about those huge Mexican mushrooms, which we used to eat four or five of every morning before hitting our lectures. Along with a few lines of cha from the big box of it under George’s bed. Geeeooorrrggge.
No idea what “dan” was really looking forward to. Do you want to give me a clue by telling me the date it was sent.
While I don’t think there’s anything wrong with jumping into hedges etc. I reluctantly have to admit that I was a bit of a cunt back then. The Arthur story is a good example of that. I remember thinking that of the 7 other people in the house, I had a falling out with every one of them on at least one occasion.
No, I’m sure if I told you the date it was sent you’d still manage to not figure it out somehow. Dani was looking forward to the opening of a new nightclub, you phool.
Also, I can’t believe you fell out with Shteev. One of the most unfalloutwithable people I’ve ever met. You might remind me what you did to piss him off…
My falling out with shteev involved a game of Lemmings. I honestly can’t remember any other details but it definitely involved Lemmings.